Love Me

LoveMeSo I said that I’m going to use the ideas in the Journey Within class to push myself and I’ve decided this means I need to really layer my pages.  In reviewing my pages from the last class, I can see that I was working with using paper and imagery together.  Now I’m going to work on having at least 3 layers on every page and also utilizing transparencies more.  I’ve used them twice now and so I think it’s a good start.

The journaling on this page falls into the background – I’ve covered it up too.  I’m having fun with journaling and then partially hiding it with different inks and layers.  It’s not that I’m saying anything I don’t want people to read – it’s more about making the imagery convey what I’m saying in words.  This page is about the joy I’m experiencing in love.

The cool technique I tried with this page that I haven’t done before is taking a page of rub ons and rather than using them precisely, rubbing off each letter or element as it was meant to be used, I scraped across the page of rub ons leaving abstract bits of color and elements randomly on the journal page.  I was so thrilled to get this idea because I have several pages of rub ons that I really don’t ever see myself using because the topics are too “scrapbooky.”  The page of rub ons that I used was originally meant for a 4th of July scrapbook layout.  It worked perfect since the 4th is a celebration and the colors of the rub ons coordinated well with my palette for this page.  If you have funky supplies lying around that you have no idea how you’re going to use them, take a different look at them.  Find a new way to use them up.

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Journey Within

Journey_coverI started on the Journey Within class with Kelly Kilmer last night.  This class is going to challenge me because it seems less directed than the last one, but I’m very excited to see what comes out of my work and the ideas presented by the instructor.  I worked on the title page and the first journal page.  I think they turned out pretty well, but I can tell that I’ve hit a spot where I need to push myself to go farther.  The title page feels to me like it needs more work, but I’m pretty satisfied with the first journal page.  Let’s see what you think:

journey_page1

Perpetually Pensive

Prompt 31Well this journal page marks the last prompt from the Marvel Class with Kelly Kilmer.  Can you tell I was procrastinating the end of the class?  I simply didn’t want it to end.  The good news is that I will be starting on another online guided class with Kelly called Journey Within.  I find her prompts very thought-provoking and I am really loving how quick and easy putting together a page is by replacing paint with paper.  This particular page I constructed in the span of about 20 minutes tops.

For color, I went with the floral on the brown paper as my inspiration and chose the rest of the papers based upon that.  Everything else is in neutrals and I found the image of the couple in my stash – perfectly matched my thought process in my journaling and perfectly color coordinated with the page.

As far as the journaling topic goes, I wrote about my feelings in the moment yesterday as I relaxed with my boyfriend after a very busy Saturday.  On the one hand, I was very happy and centered, “feeling pretty” the journaling begins, “just like the song.”  On the other, I was pensive about the fact that the weekend was coming to an end and my boyfriend and I had to return to our responsibilities and separate households.  We’ve discussed living together, but with children involved, it’s not as easy as it would be if children were not involved.  We have to take things slower than we both would like to and this means that there are lots of opportunities to think about everything.  I don’t know about you, but in a new relationship, thinking is one of the last things I would like to find myself doing.  Less thinking and more feeling.  Feeling is where I want to be.  So the image of the girl laying on her man’s chest, looking a bit restless represents me in this moment perfectly.  I am a bit restless with my thoughts lately.  I have no doubts about my relationship or where things are going and it’s so incredible to have complete faith in my love for another and his love for me.  But I cannot help imagining what it will all look and feel like when the waiting is over, and that’s the perpetually pensive topic occupying my mind.

Image

I am… reflecting.

Prompt 30I have so much gratitude for everything that I am graced with in my life, especially right now. It is tough though to be watching one of my closest friends struggle so much with his reality right now. My journal page talks about the bittersweet symphony that is life. You cannot forget where you came from and you cannot only look forward. You have to look both ways. Reflection does this for us. It can ground us. Today, I am reflecting. Once not too long ago, things were so different for me. Things were rough and many hard lessons were learned. Thanks to those experiences, today’s reward is multilayered and today’s joy runs deep.
Blessed be!

Listening

I’ve got two prompts left from my class with Kelly.  This has been quite the journey.  It’s freed me to journal faster.  It’s helped me explore tough questions that I haven’t thought about before or perhaps because they’re topics I’ve avoided consciously or unconsciously.  This particular page is about so much more than what I chose to write about.  Visually it conveys extra layers to what is running through my mind.  I don’t think of myself as a caged bird, but I do think that sometimes over thinking causes me to create imaginary cages, aka self-imposed limits.  I’m trying to be as awake and aware as possible in all areas of my life and what this means is that sometimes I come across things that are unexpected or not so pleasant.  I have immense joy in my life right now and even that is punctuated by a tinge of sorrow for things that have been lost or didn’t go as planned.  I think it’s human to look backward every once in a while.  It only becomes unhealthy when we dwell on that which we cannot change.  Looking backwards teaches us perspective about what we’ve learned.  My life lessons have been pretty big, perhaps not as big as some, but I’ve definitely been through much more in my life that is significant than I mention to anyone.  I keep it to myself.  It is a conversation I have inside.  I am listening to my soul.

Finding Balance

I don’t know about you, but in my life things happen in series.  What’s truly amazing is that I can reflect back on the last couple of months and see how everything I was doing was leading up to this one incredible moment in time.  I even had signs along the way which told me that YES you are on the right path – keep doing exactly what you are doing.  In short, I have been following my gut.

But even in the most incredible of moments in life, things still can seem out of balance or can get out of balance.  This journal entry celebrates so much and at the same time, I feel like I am spinning and one slip I will fall down.  I have long been encapsulated within my chrysalis waiting for everything to be right, waiting to emerge, and then I realized that if I kept mediating on the emergence it would never come.  Finally, I simply had to crawl out and spread my wings.  It took a while for me to adjust – the sun was bright, the air was crisp and at times the currents were too strong for me to fly.  I crashed a few times, repeating old habits and behaviors, but then when I least expected it – I arrived.

The girl in this focal image is spinning and she’s reaching up and touching the butterfly.  This is me.  I’ve reached out and surprisingly grasped my soul.  I can see it clearly now, clearer than ever before.  I am complete in this moment.

I know that I will need to move from this place to continue my journey, living and learning and growing, just like I had to crawl out of the dark safety of the cocoon I emerged from.  I anticipate it will be exactly what I’m truly meant to be doing and achieving in this life.  What a beautiful realization and maturation!

Blessed Be.

Update

In the whirlwind of this class, I have fallen in love with the most amazing man.  I’ve managed to still journal, but getting these pages posted in a timely manner here has clearly become a challenge.  I thought I was only a few pages behind on posting and discovered “a few” was far from the truth.  I think you can see in the imagery that I’m living each day with gratitude.  A huge smile continually covers my face.

After this, I’ll try to consistently post.  I’ll give it my best shot.